The Best
by abby-sarajane
Summary: Shizuka decides to gather every male together for a little... challenege. Slight hints of possible incest, plain, stupid, silliness abounds. ShizukaEveryone. For Cymoril Avalon's birthday. Yay!


Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh. Hee.

A/N: Yes, yes, it's silly. And it's for Cymoril Avalon. It's her birthday on the 23rd. Yay! So go over and check out her stuff and leave her a nice reveiw for a present.

* * *

Rishid really had to wonder why he was naked and standing in an empty, whitewashed room. Along with a dozen other naked men. It really was rather uncomfortable.

Bakura was desperately trying to curl up and disappear into a corner. Yuugi was just looking around, looking blatantly confused. Jounouchi was doubled over trying to cover himself, and Kaiba was arrogantly and proudly refusing to hide anything.

"Erm... niisan?" Malik piped up from behind Rishid. "Please don't move. I'm sort of hiding behind you."

"..." That just made _him_ feel _oh_ so much better.

"Does _anyone_ know what the hell is going on?" Otogi piped up. He was pressed against the wall, hiding himself rather well.

A chorus of "No"s and one dry snort (from Kaiba) greeted his question. "Well, damn."

"Could it be a joke?" Bakura hazarded from the corner. "Some sort of stunt for a TV program?"

"Better not be," Kaiba growled, eyes narrowing. "They'll be off the air before they can blink twice."

Someone cleared their throat, and they all turned to stare at the girl in the doorway. Jounouchi gaped. "_Shizuka_?"

"Hello, oniichan." Shizuka beamed at him. "I guess you got put in here by mistake. Oops!" She eyed him a bit, then shrugged. "It might work out pretty well, though..."

Jounouchi's jaw _dropped_. "_You_ brought us here?"

"Oh, how embarrassing..." Bakura groaned, dropping his head into his hands.

"I _demand_ an explanation!" Kaiba barked, crossing his arms and scowling at Shizuka, who looked unimpressed.

"All good things come to those who wait, Kaiba-kun," she smiled sweetly at him. "Oh, but I bet you _are_ the impatient type..."

"When I'm standing naked in a room with no idea what's going on, I think I have a _right_ to be impatient," Kaiba snapped.

"I'm inclined to agree..." Malik spoke up, craning his neck around Rishid. "Can we have an explanation at least?"

"We-e-ell... I suppose so." Shizuka shrugged, sized up Kaiba like a piece of meat, then turned to face Malik. "I'm bored. And I really want a good lover. Sooo... I'm going to try everyone out and then see what happens!"

"..." Everyone stared at her blankly, until Jounouchi, predictably, exploded. "No way in _hell_ is anyone sleeping with my little sister!"

"I wouldn't touch her on a bet," Kaiba snapped, crossing his arms.

"Who gets to go first?" Honda, looking far too happy about the situation, asked, looking around.

"Well, I think you can all draw straws." Shizuka nodded. "Oh, and Bakura-kun, Yuugi-kun, Malik-kun, you get to go twice, once as yourselves, but then you have to let your other selves take over."

Bakura and Malik traded a glance. "Can we... um... not do that?" Bakura asked, biting his lip. "My other is... well... scary."

"And mine is psychotic," Malik added.

"That just makes it more fun," Shizuka smiled sweetly at them.

Yuugi beamed. "Mine doesn't mind!"

Bakura shifted his weight and smirked suddenly, eyes taking on a cruel glint as the darker half took over. "I don't mind... too much. This should interest Me for some time, as My other is quite... terrified of such... contact. Something about never having done anything like this before..."

_:You weren't supposed to say anything:_

"Bakura-kun's a virgin!" Otogi snickered. Honda smacked him in the back of the head.

"So're you."

Otogi glared, rubbing his head. "How do _you_ know?"

Honda smirked. "Your sisters talk about you... a lot."

"Why you-" Otogi started for him, when Shizuka cleared her throat.

"I would like to add that I will be taking notes and marks on penis length, width, speed of thrusts, endurance, number of orgasms achieved by myself and of course, length of time before the man climaxes." She stuck a pencil behind her ear and held up a clipboard. "This is serious business."

Yami no Bakura faded back, leaving his utterly terrified other in command. "Oh, no..."

"That's kinda creepy..." Honda took a step back.

"Uh, can I just go?" Jounouchi asked. "Seeing as how I'm, like, your brother, and that would just be creepy?"

"Hmm, I'll think about that." Shizuka shrugged. "Probably not. I need tabs on _everyone_."

"Still creepy." Jounouchi sighed.

Shizuka waved a hand and held out a handful straws. "Wrapped around each straw is a slip of paper with a number on it. It shows your place in line. Go ahead, draw one and let's get this started. Remember, Yuugi-kun, Bakura-kun and Malik-kun have to draw two..."

Everyone shuffled forward to draw their straws. Rishid grumbled faintly when he saw that he had gotten number three. Jou was relieved to see the words "Dead last" on his straw. Bakura promptly fainted, only to be taken over instantly by his other self, who smirked. "Well, well. It appears that I get to go first..."

Shizuka nodded, smiling. "Excellent. Let's go, Bakura-kun." She grabbed his hand and dragged him into a back room, leaving everyone else still naked and standing in the bare, whitewashed room, staring at each other.

"...so... um... anyone wanna play 'I Spy'?" Jounouchi asked.

* * *

A/N: Happy birthday, Cymoril :glomps: 


End file.
